Monday, August 27, 2012

Coming Soon to a Home Near You (maybe) . . . SWEET M

Yes, it's here, it's happening, it's official! Sweet Merhawit is coming home. She is really coming home! This real live little girl is coming to her new home in Tyler, Texas, USA!
My very close friend and I are leaving September 18th to fly to Dubai and then onto Addis Ababa. September 25th we will stand before the US Embassy person and do the final bit of paper work and then September 28th we will leave the lovely country of Ethiopia (which I am already sad about) and arrive back in Tyler on the 29th.
So many emotions! I promise to be honest in it all.
My first real emotion is fear!!! I think it SHOULD be excitement, but really and truly I'm scared. Scared for us all. I do not know how this will change our little family. I do not know what it looks like to take my new four year old from all she knows and loves. I don't know if she is going to scream the entire time or cry or hate me for doing this to her. I am scared when I bring her home she will be very unhappy to be here and that she will throw fit after fit and I will break down and wonder if we got it all wrong. I am scared we will stand in this empty house with all of my people at school and just look at each other and look at each other and not know how to say a word that either understands. I am scared that, really, I don't have what it takes.

And I am sad for her because she IS leaving everything and I don't know what she understands and I can only just barely imagine what it must be like to leave your friends and your mommy and your country and get on a big loud thing that flies in the sky only to land in a land where you don't know anyone and no one speaks your language. And then be expected to call somebody else mommy. It must be terrifying, confusing, and lonely.

Excitement is there . . . peaking out when I let the fear go. I imagine holding her (if she lets me) and giving her a safe place to grieve and sort it all out. I imagine looking deep into her eyes and telling her (when she can understand me) how much she is loved and that I don't understand how hard it is to leave it all, but that we will walk this road together and in the end it will all be okay. I will tell her how I love her homeland and want to take her back one day so she can know it again. I will tell her how brave her Ethiopian mommy is and how much she loves her.
I'm excited about doing all of these girly things I never have done with my wormy boys. Getting pedicures and manicures, dressing up and going to a tea room somewhere lovely and frilly; walking straight into the girl department instead of by it; playing dolls and dress up. And I am trying to think of other girly things, but I can't because in reality I was a tomboy and liked to climb trees and ride skateboards and do all the things the boys did. So, I imagine that we will do boy things too! (which really makes me more excited than the girly things, if I'm honest)
I'm excited about her first bike ride and ice cream cone, walks in the neighborhood and watching Dora (don't tell my boys I said that).
I am really excited most about watching Greg's heart melt and pour out on this little girl. It will be a beautiful thing.

My other big emotion is thankfulness. I am so thankful and truly amazed that my friend would take time out of her very busy life and give it to me, for me and for Merhawit. There are no words for this sacrifice. I suppose it is called friendship. And for that I am very thankful.
I am also so thankful that our very favorite person (besides M) in Ethiopia will be driving us again. He will be such a comfort to Merhawit . . . and me and Greg. And I CANNOT wait to see his face at the airport!
I am thankful that God has proven over and over his faithfulness from the very beginning of this journey. I know down deep he didn't just call us to this to leave us. I know down deep that he will complete the work he started. I know down deep that he has a good plan for us all. It might not be easy, but he never ever said it would. He did promise he wouldn't leave or forsake us. It is a crazy adventure. And if I sit back and let it be just that, then I am really excited! I mean in reality, I only have 30 or so years left on this earth so why not just go for broke and enjoy the ride.

And see . . . now I can't wait to get her home!!